“I can’t believe I’m 40! Like I thought I’d be further in life. I haven’t traveled. I don’t have this awesome career. I’m getting by, but I’m just, just disappointed in me.”
Have you said this speech or heard this speech (raises hand). I remember seeing Kourtney Kardashian on TV crying her eyes out because she was turning 40. What the heck does she have to cry about many will ask. Kourtney did say that although she’s very lucky to have an amazing life, she still felt a certain way about turning 40.
Ohhhhh ladies the pressures that we put on ourselves. Our standards are so high because society has been dictating our lives. We are forced to believe that if we don’t have the man, house, and kids by our early 30’s that something is wrong with us. We cry, read articles on freezing our eggs. Our Moms and kinfolk don’t really help because they’re echoing what the masses are saying.
Then we’re comparing ourselves to others. Now back in the day comparison was different, maybe it was your cousin or Kim from college that married and has this amazing life, but that damn Instagram. Some of us find ourselves comparing, envying, and hating those that we think have it all. This kind of anxiety is really jacked up and unnecessary, all because we’re in your 40s.
The Shock
Ok, the big 4-0, you’re 40, but you feel like you’re in your 20’s. You look even better today than you did back then or the complete opposite? WTF@$##^$!!!!! You’re 40? You look in the mirror analyzing every part of your face and body. How did you turn 40???!!! Go right ahead go through the shock, I won’t judge you.
The Reflection
Where did the time go? Why didn’t you stick with that profession? Why didn’t you leave him? What happened to? Who, What, When, Where, How? Like how, and why are you single? Whatever the case is I need you to calm TFD! Take a deep breath and exhale slowly, now do it again and again. Sweetheart, Darling, Babygirl, Sunshine you’re here. You’re in your 40s. This is not a dream. Time didn’t speed up on you. You were living and sometimes when you’re living you’re not really cognizant of the whole age thing.
The Fix
What you can do is stop complaining and whining about what could’ve been. What are you going to do now IF you’re not where you want to be in life? It sounds really simple right? However standing in our truth can hurt like hell especially if you didn’t do all the things you wanted to do. You know there are solutions to some of those regrets. If you haven’t traveled as much, well that’s an easy fix. Save. Plan. Book. Go. Take Pics.
If you haven’t fell in love or started a family that can be tougher, but if Prince Charming or that significant other hasn’t arrived and you want kids in your 40’s then do what you have to do to become a mom. Now hear me out, I mean look into adoption, foster kids, get checked out and get a donor. Some women will tell you that’s all their man was good for anyway, yikes!
Personally Speaking
I really didn’t think that it was a big deal turning 40. Then something happened I began to listen to people. Girlllllllllllll what are you going to do for your 40th? Wow you’re about to be 40 I know you’re doing it big…ummm really I wasn’t. I went out to dinner with my ex, we got a massage, we got a pedi….yeah he inserted some perks for himself as well, but I didn’t care. I loved the company at the time. Now that I look back at it, selfish ass motherf**ka made sure he got my birthday perks, lol.
Anyway, I let people get into my head about turning 40. My peeps meant well, turning a new decade is a milestone, but it’s not the end of the world, it’s a highlight. I like that, a highlight. Part of life is getting older. We’re not young young, but we’re not old old. You have a lot of exciting chapters ahead. I know I do.
Remember that aging is inevitable, click here to read what I said about that.
